1634 11th Avenue
Seattle, WA 98122
“Sonya Lea tells her extraordinary story extraordinarily well. Wondering Who You Are is an amazing accomplishment. Every page sparkles with wisdom, candor, insight, and love.”
—Chris Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships
“Sonya Lea has spun a love story for the ages. I have been searching for a long time for a book that grapples so perfectly with the complications and joys of caring so completely for another. Here it is. Wondering Who You Are is an important contribution to the cannon of illness literature.”
—Christa Parravani, author of Her: A Memoir
In the twenty-third year of their marriage, Sonya Lea’s husband, Richard, went in for surgery to treat a rare appendix cancer. When he came out, he had no recollection of their life together: how they met, their wedding day, the births of their two children. All of it was gone, along with the rockier parts of their past—her drinking, his anger. Who he’d been, no longer was. Wondering Who You Are braids the story of Sonya and Richard’s relationship, those memories that he could no longer conjure, with those fateful days in the hospital—the internal bleeding and resultant lack of oxygen, the near-death experience and eventual traumatic brain injury. It follows the couple through his recovery as they struggle with his treatment, and through a marriage no longer grounded on decades of shared experience. As they build a fresh life together, as Richard develops a new personality, Sonya is forced to question her own assumptions and desires, her place in the marriage and her way of being in the world. With radical candor and honesty, Sonya Lea has written a memoir that is both a powerful look at perseverance in the face of trauma, and a surprising exploration into what lies beyond our fragile identities.