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GHOST OF MEMORY

Alexxander Dovelin is an illustrator, writer from the internet. Crafting between tea breaks, Alex draws on personal experience and metaphor to produce poems, short stories, and pseudo-philosophies. You’ll find him scribbling over in Portland, OR.
Posted in General
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What We’re Reading

Emma Komlos-Hrobsky (Assistant Editor, Tin House Magazine): I just finished Tin House Books’s own Me and Mr. Booker by Cory Taylor. I’m generally a slow reader, but I drunk this book down in one swift, gleeful gulp. The eponymous Mr. Booker, a dapper English film professor whose flirtatious coyness might actually be avoidance, had me thinking of the older man in An Education in the best possible way. But where that tale’s male lead is fundamentally a conman, Mr. Booker and his teenage mistress, Martha, are partners in crime, equally guilty of looking past the truth to keep a damned relationship afloat.
What drives the book forward, and what separates it from its teenage affair story competition, is Martha’s voice. She’s perceptive, candid, wry in a way only Australians can be, completely equipped to parry with Mr. Booker–and still just a kid. She and I both couldn’t turn away from what was happening, even when we both knew she was headed nowhere good.
Desiree Andrews (Assistant Editor, Tin House magazine): This isn’t a Friday Read—more of a lost and never found situation. When I was volunteering in Kolkata a few years ago, I ran across a copy of a book called The Affair. The book was dingy, yellow and clearly very old but it looked like it had never been opened. As I read it, the binding glue disintegrated and pages feel out in chunks.
The book was about a scientist who had once taught at a prestigious British university but had left for the private sector. He is called back into the cloistered world of academia when an old colleague whom everyone hates (partly because of his terrible personality and partly because of his affiliations with the communist party) is accused of falsifying test results in an experiment. Although the narrator also hates the accused, he goes back to act as his attorney in a case that pits the academic old guard against the younger, more progressive professors.
All of the characters in this book are British men over 45. There’s no sex, no crime (other than the crime of scapegoating an apparent asshole) and the whole thing takes place on a dreary university campus circa 1970. There is no reason why I should like this book yet I’ve been explicably obsessed with it since I left India. I wrote the author’s name down in a journal that was lost in transit. Armed with only the loose description I’ve shared here, the Internet has been no help. I think it just goes to show we only want what we can’t have and I want to read The Affair this Friday.
Heather Hartley (Paris Editor): I just picked up a second-hand copy of Marguerite Duras’ short novel Summer Rain and haven’t been able to put it down. Lyrical and intense, abstract in the best sense and with a peripatetic and at times surprising rhythm, it is the jagged and moving story of a large immigrant family living in the grey cement suburbs of Paris. With spare and crystalline writing, Duras brings forward and into focus the humanity of and intimacy within this rambling family of nine, while the bleakness of the city’s outskirts fades in the background. As Duras writes in Summer Rain, “Their voices reach out into the empty yard, plunge deep into the hills, go right through the heart.”
Meg Storey (Editor, Tin House Books): I am halfway through the craziest book I have ever loved. At AWP, I picked up an ARC of The Carp Castle, which Overlook Press is publishing this coming September. It is the only unpublished novel by MacDonald Harris (the pseudonym for Donald Heiney), who lived from 1921 to 1993 and was the author of sixteen novels. Set in post–World War I Europe (at least, so far), The Carp Castle opens with a metaphysician chasing his soon-to-be lover through a German forest, each of them flinging off clothes throughout the chase. At the moment their relationship is consummated, the sky darkens, not because of a storm cloud, but because of a zeppelin, which, it turns out, is the vessel that will take them, the mystic/cult leader Moira, whom they follow, and other equally nutty (at least, so far) characters to a place that Moira calls “Gianconda” and the cover copy calls “a better future.” Best of all, the zeppelin is named The League of Nations. Stay tuned . . .
Posted in Desiderata
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For my Uncle Danny

I was slapping at the welts on my shins one green evening when you told me to suck on the head of a match. Sulfur, you said, would get in my blood and keep the mosquitoes away. One match a month was all it took, you told me. I went back to catching fireflies. You said it was phosphorous in their bulbs that kept them lighting up. I walked around with a match in my mouth for a week, the stick swollen soggy in my mouth, until my mother slapped it out because of the chemicals.
You told me once that you were Johnny Unitas. It was your stage name, and no wonder. A name like that, Unitas. You didn’t want to have people stopping you and making a scene. The secret to being a quarterback, you said, was seeing the whole field. I remember you stepping backward, feet like a fencer’s, palming an invisible ball and checking down the passing routes in our backyard. Scan the field, and make a read you said. I told everybody at school.
The two boys on our street, Kevin and his brother Christopher, didn’t believe me. Kevin sat on my back while Christopher punched me in the head and told me how stupid I was. A year later, after you’d died, I wasn’t angry that you’d lied. I was angry I couldn’t tell it like you did, my voice easy and convincing and plain.
I remember you told me once what it was like to be a paratrooper. You had just pulled up in front of Gramama’s house in your camper. The muscles in your forearms were cleaved by two thick pipes of muscle, and the hair that covered them was paper white and thick. You gave me an ice cream cone from the cooler in your camper, and I asked was it true you were in Vietnam.
You told me how it is after you jump, before your chute opens. You and the rest of your platoon are connected on a static line, and the bullets fly by you in the air, and you can’t hear them, but you feel their gravity, the way the marrow in your bones thrills toward and away the ripples in the air. And you’re so scared, you said, that you forget your body. You don’t even thrash around, but move like a swimmer, and it’s like your arms and legs are on strings, controlled like a marionette is, and you can’t even feel your muscles. Your arms float up next to your face, and you notice your hand, in the dark air, floating. You just felt light, you said.
I heard after you died that when you drank you were worse. My mother said that once you came in when we were all living in Alexandria and you told everybody to go into the bedroom and lay down on the floor with all the lights out. I was there, too young to remember. There wasn’t any time to talk, you said. Someone was looking for you, because of an assignment at work. You worked at the Pentagon. We all lay down, mother said, in the bedroom with our hands over our heads. After an hour passed and then another, mother walked out and found you passed out in the living room, your head tilted back on the sofa. She draped a blanket over you, and never talked about it again till I was grown.
I have spent my whole life trying to feel as light as you.
Danny Nowell is a blogger and writer living in Portland. His writing about the NBA appears at ESPN TrueHoop Network blogs, Portland Roundball Society, and HoopSpeak, and he reviews books for The Oxford American online. What he lacks in finesse he makes up for in zeal.
*Tin House is now accepting flash fiction (under 1,000 words) for FLASH FRIDAYS. Please send to theopenbar@tinhouse.com with FLASH FRIDAY as your subject line.
Posted in Flash Fridays
Comments: 1
The Slippage
Ben Greenman’s new novel, The Slippage, is a book about marriage and its discontents—not to mention the suburbs, charts, driving in the suburbs, and the limits of language. The Slippage urges the reader to examine the relationships in their life based on love and friendship.
I recently met up with Ben at a busy Starbucks near the Condé Nast building in Manhattan’s Times Square, where 3 hours quickly sped by over a cup of coffee, dizzying taxis and a constant ebb and flow of tourist chatter. We spoke about technology, suburbia, the craft of writing, the life of the writer and of course, his new book.
Leah Umansky: So, let’s start with the basics: love. Your protagonists are a married couple in their 40’s who are childless and stuck in the suburbs. What motivates them?
Ben Greenman: I think they’re driven forward by a mix of inertia and hope that the inertia might abate. It’s never easy to know why we move forward in life, beyond the basic need for survival. Are we motivated by new challenges? Maybe, but then those challenges are revealed as empty. By the prospect of new conquests? Perhaps, but what happens when the mountains are scaled? By the presence of new questions? Maybe.
LU: What I think people will enjoy in the book is your use of black comedy. There are things that are funny, that shouldn’t be funny. For example, when Louisa locks herself upstairs during her house party, or when William observes how his brother-in-law, Tom, treats his girlfriend, Annika. Black Comedy helps us find the humor in life. I think that’s what I like best about William. He’s laid back, and he’s funny.
BG: Thanks. He’s laid back in part because he doesn’t know what to do with what’s around him. He isn’t Robert Moses. He can’t shift the world to look the way he wants it to look. What’s left to him is reaction, and sometimes slow reaction. In that he’s more like everyone than he is like anyone in particular.
LU: The Slippage is a book about marriage, but I really see it as a book about survival and about choice.
BG: Yes, it’s a book about suffering. The main characters, William and Louisa, don’t have a way to escape their lives. I made the choice, when writing the book, to leave them in their world to suffer. Other authors have done this, of course, Moore and Updike and others, but in my mind, Louisa and William are stuck. They can go off and come back, drift from one another and reconvene, but they can’t escape their lives, not really.
LU: Yes, but I wouldn’t say that they’re necessarily in pain. Are they?
BG: They’re not in tremendous pain. Many people have it worse. It’s ordinary pain.
LU: Through William and Louisa, we also look at Louisa’s brother, Tom, who is an opposite kind of character. He’s a conceptual artist and in some ways the counterweight to William. Is he the kind of person we all wish we could be?
BG: William is in the middle, in what I think of as unencumbered reality. He’s not Ahab and he’s not Ishmael: he’s not the one out there on the edge, living life to its fullest, but he’s also not the one who gets to observe at close range and analyze and become changed vicariously. William just is. Tom lives more the way you think a traditional “literary” character should live.
LU: What do you mean “should live?” Do you mean the other characters envy him? William seems to. When Tom asks him for a favor, William is sort of on-edge, wondering when it will occur and what it will be. He rides the fence of being giddy and being scared.
BG: Partly that, but partly he just moves along, does the favor, doesn’t belabor it in conversation or in his mind.
LU: You keep saying William is ordinary, but he doesn’t seem to live a stereotypical boring life. I think he experiences many of the unexpected elements of life and that’s what makes all of our lives interesting: the unexpected.
Posted in Interviews
Comments: 1
On Degrees of Gray in Philipsburg
As I sit here at my desk in Northwest Portland, in a lime-green apartment full of skylights, sandwiched between Tin House Magazine and Tin House Books, reading the dynamic and very brave poems my grad students at Portland State are writing—I find myself thinking, in the most basic terms, about what it means to be instructed by a poem. What are we talking about when we say we turn to poems for instruction?
Richard Hugo is the presiding poet-spirit in the M.F.A. program where I usually teach, The University of Montana. From my (weirdly sunny) perch here in Oregon, casting a long glance back at my home state, I want to consider one of Hugo’s most-celebrated most-anthologized poems, “Degrees of Gray in Philipsburg,” from his 1973 volume The Lady in Kicking Horse Reservoir, in the hope of finding some provisional answers.
The poem opens with “You might come here Sunday on a whim.” (you can read the entire poem at the end of this post) The “you” in that first line seems to be a visitor, not unlike the poet himself, who, in his essay “The Triggering Town,” recommends to fellow poets that it might help “to use scenes (towns perhaps) that seem to vivify themselves as you remember them but in which you have no real emotional investment other than the one that grows out of the strange way the town appeals to you, the way it haunts you later when you should be thinking about paying your light bill.”
So you (the visitor, the poet, the speaker, the reader) come here some Sunday to take a look around, and although you’re not from Philipsburg, the town still makes some claim on you. “Say your life broke down” is the first indication that what follows is a vision; you have to go there in your imagination and walk the streets, and try out—or try on—a life. Whatever whim brought you here, there’s nothing remotely whimsical about the town, with its numbing failures, its streets “laid out by the insane” Philipsburg is in the last stages of collapse, constituted almost entirely of dilapidated, gutted structures, and eerily emptied of people. A few isolate souls remain: the jail’s single prisoner, a couple of local drivers (maybe driving in circles around the block, pathetically gunning their engines), the old man who was twenty when the jail was built, and a waitress. There are mostly men, because the “best liked girls…leave each year for Butte.”
Life flows out of Philipsburg; the hotels were closed because people stopped coming; even the single prisoner doesn’t know why he’s “in,” why he’s been held back—and yet you’ve come here looking for something. Where is everyone? The poem tells us that the only surviving institutions are churches and bars, and yet we find out later that nobody’s in the churches: the church bell rings and no one comes. In a sense, the town’s buildings are just as alive—just as dead—as the citizens themselves: the jail turned 70 this year. Evidence of the late stages of decay is everywhere. The huge mill is in ruin but “won’t finally fall down,” the economy is in shambles, and what’s left beyond these few persisting husks of life are the most impoverished human emotions: rage, hatred, failure, defeat, scorn, and further beneath these—fueling these, perhaps most primal—boredom.
These are the degrees of gray, the filth itself, imaginatively entered and described, and they hold out the central challenge of the poem, which is not so far from what American citizens and readers and poets are facing today. What, beyond rage and boredom, is left of us?
The Maggie Nelson Seminar – Exercise #3: Poem(s)

We hope you have enjoyed the Tin House Seminar: Maggie Nelson thus far. For those of you new to class, read a full description of the project.
Last week, the seminar read The Red Parts: A Memoir and completed the second writing assignment. If you didn’t get a chance to read The Red Parts this week, these supplements will get you up to speed (and really make you want to carve out the time to sit down and read Nelson’s haunting memoir about the murder of her aunt, Jane Mixer, in 1969:
Eve Conant, “A Death in the Family,” The New York Times Book Review
Kimberly Young, “Interview with Maggie Nelson,” Chapparal Review
Wayne Koestenbaum and Maggie Nelson in The Poetry Project Newsletter
This week, the class has focused on The Latest Winter and Shiner. Read the reviews here: Jordan Davis, The Latest Winter in The Constant Critic and David Gunton, Shiner in Jacket #19.
Exercise #3: Poem(s)
Pick two poems from Shiner, The Latest Winter, and/or Something Bright, Then Holes. Identify an element in each poem that you’d like to play with in your own work. The element can be macro (a particular approach to subject matter, a certain kind of voice, a pattern of repetition, a strategy of ligature, etc) or it can be at the level of the sentence (syntax, orthography, lineation, acoustics, diction, etc). Drawing upon both of the elements you’ve selected, write 2-3 pages of poetry (a single poem, or two, or several—up to you).
Crib Notes For Your Book Club
As Stephen Sparks previously mentioned, a good number of us book lovers like to go around talking about novels we have never read. I mean, who has time to read The Flamethrowers when this is happening? Still, it can be a tad bit embarrassing to get caught with your literary pants down by someone who has actually read the text. Lucky for us then that Kenneth Nichols has come up with a handy guide for bluffing your way through your next book report.
Tahhhh
Let’s be honest. You didn’t read the book. You were assigned Atlas Shrugged for a class, and then something happened that was more important than slogging through hundreds of pages about a selfish woman who wants to meet some guy named John Galt. Maybe your inconsiderate monthly book group settled upon War and Peace, expecting that everyone had plenty of time to get through a thousand pages of…war. Don’t despair; it is possible to get through the literary discussion you’re dreading with minimum preparation.
hhhh
· Before you meet with others, read a single, random page closely. Even though you didn’t bother to get through Fitzgerald’s point-of-view-bending Tender is the Night, you’ll be able to rhapsodize about, say, page 165. “The narrator claims that Dick had written psychology books and these contained ‘the germ of all he would think or know.’ I think this is really significant in the context of Fitzgerald’s attitude toward his character.”
hhhh
· Be careful not to appear surprised when, in the course of the discussion, unexpected plot twists are revealed. Even though you have no way of knowing that some guy named Bigger from Native Son accidentally killed a Caucasian woman, don’t raise an eyebrow and whisper, “Really?” When someone mentions that Tess (of the D’Urbervilles) commits murder and surrenders at Stonehenge, simply shake your head in ambiguous disapproval of the pre-feminist world in which the book was written. Don’t flip through the book and say, “Stonehenge? Are you serious?”
hhhh
· Pounce when the discussion turns to a facet of the work with which you’re already familiar. If possible, mention the primary conceit of the book. During discussions of Nella Larsen’s Passing, for example, say something like: “It was very brave for Larsen to publish a book about the contextual perception of race, especially in the past.”
hhhh
· During a lull in the conversation, ask a vague question that will force others to reflect on your breadth of knowledge. Mention as many impenetrable philosophers as you can. You will look smarter than you are, and discourage anyone from challenging your obtuse, meaningless assertion. Bonus points if you convincingly pretend to ask a question that affects the interpretation of the whole book. After pretending to have read Gustave Flaubert’s Madame Bovary, ask: “If we consider the book through a Derridian lens, doesn’t a Marxist reading seem the most Shavian in a Foucault-conceived world, particularly in light of John Locke’s conviction that you shouldn’t tell him what he can’t do?”
hhhh
· When in doubt, say something relating to the title of the book. No matter what you say, the group contrarian will probably prattle on for fifteen minutes. This is particularly helpful when used with books whose titles include an adjective. Simply call the validity of the adjective into question. For example: “I’m not sure the new world is really as brave as Huxley would have us believe,” or “Are the Ambersons truly magnificent?”
hhhh
· On occasion, you will have to pretend to have read books for which you can’t find a summary and analysis from Cliffs Notes. This is a shame because those ‘study aids’ are great for ‘helping you truly grasp’ what you’ve ‘already read.’ Should your teacher/book group assign something as uncommon as, say, Grace Paley’s story collection, The Little Disturbances of Man, look through the book’s Amazon reviews for clues as to what you should say. Then, do a good, old-fashioned slow flip through the book to determine which themes the book reflects. In the case of Paley’s Little Disturbances, one might discuss Manhattan… Teitelbaum…air conditioner…Virginia…Morgenlicht …Gallic temperament… and the Russian art theater. Propose that the group discuss the “impact of World War II on Jewish Central and Eastern European short story writers who spent time in France before immigrating to New York City where they could, at long last, enjoy air conditioning before they see a Russian play.”
Posted in Laugh Tracks
Comments: 1
Our Own Collaboration
May 7, 2013
Dear Friend,
I have arrived in Berlin after a short stay in Reggio-Emilia, Italy. There at the Collezionemaramotti, I attended the opening of Jason Dodge’s first permanent sculpture titled “A Permanently Open Window” and joined him in conversation about the piece, our ongoing collaboration in conversation about visual art and poetry, as well as reading a group of my own poems, translated into Italian by Franco Nasi, for the event which included about a hundred and sixty people. Part of my inclusion in this event came out of Jason’s interest in building a collaborative understanding/connection between visual artists and poets through his publishing house Five Hundred Places.
A lot of the time collaboration seems to be focused on some sort of physical object: a poet writes a poem and a painter paints the words on a canvas, a quartet plays and a speaker speaks, but those kinds of collaborations seem limited to me. Jason and I have been having an ongoing conversation for about a year now. It is the conversation itself that I view as the collaboration and through that conversation the poems I have been writing have changed. This is more than simply being affected and so ones impulses change, but a conscience decision to engage in the collaboration and choose to make work that comes directly out of it. I wonder if this makes any sense! I miss you and want to be clear! I wonder what you think about when you think about collaboration. Have you ever collaborated with someone who works with different tools than you do? Will you write me about it?
Maybe you and I are beginning our own collaboration right now? Maybe this week you might reach out to someone with different ideas than you, with a different heart, and collaborate on something, each your own, with them… and maybe write me about it!
Believe me,
Matthew Dickman
Matthew Dickman is the poetry editor of Tin House and the author of All-American Poem (American Poetry Review/ Copper Canyon Press, 2008) and Mayakovsky’s Revolver (Norton, 2012). He lives and works in Portland, Oregon.
Posted in Free Verse
Comments: 0
THE SCI-FI SQUAD!

About the Artist, Marlowe Dobbe:
I am a Portland, Oregon native currently attending The Pacific Northwest College of Art, majoring in illustration. My work is stylized, greatly considered, and often times humorous. I work mainly in digital, but I frequently include elements of my physical work in my finished pieces. I love making art that is aesthetically pleasing, fresh, accessible, and enjoyable – and in my opinion – that is the best kind of art. My topics range from direct observations, to imaginings, to graphic imagery, and all of my pieces are professionally approached as part of my process. Components of my personality are also a big part of my art, and I am always trying to reflect the wit, gentle humor, and creative viewing that I so greatly appreciate.
Posted in Laugh Tracks, Uncategorized
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What We’re Reading

Masie Cochran (Associate Editor, Tin House Books): I’m reading Airships by Barry Hannah. I read this collection in high school, again in college, and keep coming back to it every few years. I love “Testimony of Pilot, “(take a second and read An Amazing Sentence Shape by Kate Brittain), “Green Gets It,” and “Our Second Home.” But this week, for whatever reason, I’ve read “Love too Long” twice. It’s angry and sloppy and wild and raw and so, so good. It’s about a lot of things, but mainly a man who loved a woman too much. “Maybe I need to go to church, I said to myself. I can’t stand this alone. I wished I was Jesus. Somebody who never drank or wanted nooky. Or knew Jane.”
Heather Hartley (Paris Editor): The Duc de Saint-Simon, godson of Louis XIV, diplomat, writer and nobleman, was at the thriving, conniving heart of kingly intrigue, lust, love, war and and all things conspiratorial going down at the most powerful, sumptuous court of Europe, the incomparable Château de Versailles. Unlike most of the courtiers, Saint-Simon was a reverent, honest man who wrote with candor and clarity about the everyday affairs of the court. Intimate observer par excellence, not many of the Sun King’s secrets went unnoticed by his godson and were recorded with careful detail in his Memoirs of Louis De Rouvroy Duc De Saint. Of Louis XIV and his high court, he writes, “Others were not allowed to dream as he had lived,” while on a different note regarding newfangled instruments known as cutlery, Saint-Simon observes, “Seeing him eat olives with a fork!” Marcel Proust’s Swann’s Way: Remembrance of Things Past is said to have been inspired by Saint-Simon’s writings, possibly encapsulated in the Duc’s observation, “The shortness of each day was his only sorrow.” A book to be savored over macarons and tea cakes in late afternoon gardens.
Tony Perez (Editor, Tin House Books): This isn’t the first time that Rachel Kushner’s The Flamethrowers has made an appearance on Friday Reads, based on what I’ve seen my colleagues carting around lately, I suspect it won’t be the last. What’s blown me away about the book is the way Kushner manages to maintain such momentum even while she’s moving around in time. The narrative is discursive and often anecdotal, but never loses its drive. Even while she’s flashing back and stepping aside, she’s always moving us forward (appropriate for a book that takes speed as one it’s primary subjects). I’ve got forty pages to go, and I fear withdrawals—thankfully I’ve got an ARC of Elliott Holt’s You Are One of Them to calm my shakes.

Nanci McCloskey (Director of Publicity and Rights, Tin House Books): I just read Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion. I’ve read (and loved) Didion’s memoirs and essays, but I hadn’t read her novels. When I was browsing books in an LA bookstore, a perfect stranger said: You must read this. I just finished it, and I can’t stop talking about it. Sold. Play It As It Lays destroyed me (in the best way). It reminded me of reading Nathanael West for the first time. Didion works miracles in this book. The excruciatingly patient pacing. The elliptical storytelling. There’s nothing showy or pretentious; the book is profoundly moving.
Posted in Desiderata
Comments: 0
Feats of Strength

A strongman is lifting my car, his hands bolted tight to the front bumper. His trunky thighs and buttocks are facing streetward, and several women in the neighborhood have set up lawn chairs and are watching the spectacle from their front yards. His grunts are loud, like falling timber, and the birds perched on the roof have fled in search of friendlier shingles.
We have remodeled our lives with family in mind. Out goes the air hockey table and bean bag chair, the ninja throwing stars and KISS commemorative guitar. The car, a cramped but capable two-door, is the last loose end, the sole remaining relic from our previous lives.
Yes, I want take it, the strongman says, extending and contracting the fingers on his left hand. (If I could, I would call him by his first name, but it’s unpronounceable to those unaccustomed to the sounds of his language, a series of consonants arbitrarily arranged.) He rummages through his gym bag for his checkbook and upon finding it writes out a check for the requested amount. No haggling. We agree to sort out the title transfer and other details during the week.
Natalie stands in the window with our son. She smiles at me, since we now have the money to buy the minivan we’ve been eyeing. My son, in her arms, is trying to fit the head of a stuffed giraffe in his mouth. He couldn’t be more pleased with himself.
Every couple of months Natalie has dinner with the supervisor from her work, a woman who lost her family in an accident. It happened the winter before last. Her husband was driving their daughter to a piano lesson when his car skidded over a patch of black ice and plummeted into freezing cold water. He was able to force open his door but drowned trying to unbuckle his daughter’s seatbelt, which was stuck. This is the story the police pieced together from the remains. My wife brings our son along and each dinner the woman buys him a new toy, something bright and extravagant.
Natalie and my son have vanished from the window, departed for another room in the house, and I can’t help but wonder what tragedies will confront us, what feats of strength I’ll be asked to perform for my family. It’s not a matter of if, but of when, and I only wish I knew how it will all pan out.
The first crib we bought for my son – his name is Dev, by the way – the first crib we bought for Dev was recalled by the manufacturer. A faulty latch. The drop-side, installed wrong or burdened with too much weight, was prone to loosening from the adjoining railing, or detaching completely. When Natalie found out about this, she cried. How could we let this happen? I didn’t know what to say.
The strongman asks if he can walk the car home. I nod, absently, my head elsewhere. He untangles a complicated web of straps and ropes from his gym bag. With a tow hook, he attaches a thick rope to the underside of the front bumper. The other end of the rope is threaded through a climbing harness, which he belts around his waist and shoulders. He leans forward and takes several long, agonizing steps. The rope tightens. The wheels start moving. Slowly at first, and then a little more easily. His face is red and the veins around his temples push through the skin. His legs are pumping like pistons, churning forward, determined.
Natalie comes outside and stands beside me. I pick up Dev and hold him against my chest. The strongman reaches a bend in the road, disappears behind a cluster of trees. The women fold up their chairs, but we stay outside and wave goodbye to the car, trailing behind with no one at the wheel, as if moving under its own power. We keep waving, the three of us, to all the things we’ve loved that have let us go.
Ravi Mangla lives in Fairport, NY. His stories have appeared in Mid-American Review, American Short Fiction, Melville House, Gigantic, and McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. He keeps a blog at ravimangla.com.
*Tin House is now accepting flash fiction (under 1,000 words) for FLASH FRIDAYS. Please send to theopenbar@tinhouse.com with FLASH FRIDAY as your subject line.
Posted in Flash Fridays
Comments: 1
She Came to Stay
Matt and I broke up a dozen times before our grand finale, which ended with an admission impossible to move past: I told him I was gay.
It took me till my last semester in undergraduate school to find my way into a “women’s issues” course. The class, titled “Feminism and Philosophy,” was taught by a poet-scholar who possessed a cult following of students, most of who wore turquoise jewels in their noses, scuffed Doc Martens, and leather satchels around one shoulder. I sat in the back next to a student named AJ. She’d had the professor maybe four times already and was in the inner circle that got invited to “family” dinners at the poet’s house. AJ possessed an Amazonian stature, red hair, no makeup, and handcrafted notebooks bound with handmade paper. She rarely spoke, but whispered comments to herself so brilliant I took to jotting down her asides as if they were course notes. She was a handsome woman. By week three, I knew her profile by heart.
Each day AJ clunked a stack of obscure book titles onto her desk and nested into her chair. A naked breast was visible on the black background of a tattered paperback titled She Came to Stay. I’d heard of Simone de Beauvoir, but not as much as I pretended. AJ told me the novel came from the other more complex class she was taking by the poet. The title of the alternate course sounded almost entirely like the one we were in.
I read the summary on the back of She Came to Stay and took myself straight to the library.
This roman a clef takes up issues of freedom, The Other, dependency, and sexuality: all of which were inspired by the true life ménage a trios between Simone de Beauvoir, Jean-Paul Sartre and their mistress Olga Kosakiewicz–the woman responsible for almost breaking apart the famous couple’s lifelong romance. If reading is an act of voyeurism, encountering these pages is akin to wearing someone else’s skin. This novel of revenge, written to expose their mistress as manipulative and superficial, is dedicated to Olga and viewed as an attempt to reclaim the sordid love affair through the eyes of the author.
Set in Paris, with World War II brimming in the background, Beauvoir attends to the inner life of Francoise–and the dare I say existential crisis– that arises when third party Xavière gets introduced into Francoise’s open relationship with Pierre. Francoise and Pierre are writers of the theatre, living in Paris, indulging in breakdowns about their art, pursuing amorous flings with attractive others, and most importantly adoring each other. They are in love with their lifestyles and their companionship and their city. Francoise thinks Pierre is a genius and routinely consoles him through his fears of intellectual and artistic inadequacy.
When Francoise meets a nubile Xaviere who lives in the small town of Rouen, in the countryside outside of Paris, she falls into intrigue and insists that Xaviere, the Olga-based character, move to Paris. When Xaviere concedes and comes to stay with the couple, Pierre and Francoise attempt to nurse her into a fully formed and philosophically wise new consciousness. During her stay, the puerile young lady charms the couple, and the duo decides to incorporate a third party into their already established relationship. Together, the trio traipses around Montparnasse, frequents cafes, and imbibes into the night. At first, the newness of Xaviere is exhilarating and inspiring for Francoise and Pierre. However, as the three become more entwined, Pierre’s feelings for Xaviere grow into their own entity–an independent thing that excludes Francoise. Jealousy glares green-eyed from all as the bonds between the individuals become more realized, but are always flowing more completely in two directions and never equally between all three. Everyone wants everyone else’s object of desire.
The women: this was the most thrilling part for me. Xaviere and Francoise share a mutual infatuation. Their connection is as romantic as the competition they insight in each other. Reading Beauvoir’s portrayals of their Sapphic lusts and longings, even when embedded with envy, opened a door of possibility for me. My heart beat in my hips as I read particularly salty passages. I felt recognition in Beauvoir’s descriptions of yearning directed toward another woman, no matter how complicated the motives or twisted the reasons. I had never read anything so honest–or so lesbian.
Beauvoir created an emotional world that stirred something up at my core. She wrote toward the truth of feeling, the difficulty of desire. The more I read Beauvoir, attended my feminist studies class, and stared at AJ in the seat beside me, the more separate I felt from Matt. Our fights ambled on. I read him paragraphs from She Came to Stay aloud in bed, juicy ones. It was like dropping breadcrumbs toward my new awakening. It felt like I’d accepted a ride from a stranger, dressed as a famous philosopher from the 40’s, and now here I was careening down an unknown road, faster than I’d like, seeing new sights, unable exit. The doors were locked.
Posted in Essays
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Happy Birthday, Thomas Pynchon!
In honor of Thomas Ruggles Pynchon, Jr.’s birthday today (Happy 76th!), we wanted to share a few of our favorite pages of Zak Smith’s Pictures Showing What Happens on Each Page of Thomas Pynchon’s Novel Gravity’s Rainbow. If you are in New York, catch Zak’s exhibit, MAXIMUM EVERYTHING ALWAYS, at Fredericks & Freiser, May 2- June 8.

Posted in Events
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Bishop in the Air
May 1, 2013
Dear Friend,
I am writing to you from a small village outside of Vienna. I am here with the artist, Jason Dodge, and others, living the next few days in a castle not far from the Danube river. I’ll be traveling for a month and wanted to keep in touch. It’s been years since I have been lucky enough to fly this far from Portland and now, of course, I want to always being flying this far away…in part so I can come back to you!
On the flight over I was nervous, nervous about the plane crashing in the ice of Greenland or falling into the Atlantic. Instead there was almost no turbulence and I slept and drank water and read magazines and walked up and down the big machine, stretching every few hours. About an hour before landing in Amsterdam, I began thinking about how I would take time to write poems while I moved around from Austria to Italy to Germany to England to France and then England again before coming home. I was walking down the aisle toward my seat (17J) and glanced down at a man sleeping, stretched out over three seats: he had a red Delta/KLM blanket over him, a cloth over his eyes, and a book of Elizabeth Bishop poems held in his arms like a teddy-bear. Poetry at 37,000 feet! Poetry calming a traveler down as he slept, and the plane racing across the world with Bishop’s “Waiting Room” there among it all!
And now, after the long trip here, I find myself sitting at a picnic table in a courtyard with a coffee and time for poems! But! But I am facing a bright green hilly valley covered in trees and mist and farm houses and ruins of old churches, and it’s like sitting in front of an ocean, the ocean being so beautiful and complete that it seems foolish to sit in my head with the waves crashing in front of me! I have always wondered how nature poets could write what they do and if they do so while being faced with nature, or if, like I would have to do, they live with nature but write surrounded by four dull walls, or on a couch with the TV blasting. I’m looking at the early stages of a sunset, the green going on forever and ever, and writing a poem feels like it would be an abandonment of the moment. How weird is that? What’s wrong with me? I might not write anything until I can get into a cheap hotel in London where I know my inner-life will be more willing to crawl out of the strange and wonderfully ugly floorboards of my body.
Believe me,
Matthew Dickman
Posted in General
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I’m a Fan #5
For the last several years, my mother has been working on a book about Moby Dick. Her working process is very particular; it consists of her breaking the book down, page by page, setting aside a three-by-five index card for each page, and then taking copious notes on both sides of the card concerning the page’s content. She plans to progress in this fashion, card by card, until she covers the entire novel. I don’t know precisely which edition she uses, but my Penguin Classics version of Moby Dick, including Melville’s opening section on the history of whales but not including notes, totals 624 pages.
My mother is not an academic. She was a lawyer before I was born, but quit to raise me and my brothers. She owned a bookstore for a while, briefly taught high school English, and now works at her local library. She has never been published, with the exception of letters to the editor, and has rarely, if ever, been paid for her work, but over the last twenty years she has read voraciously and produced a steady stream of literary production, from essays to poems to novels. My mother is a fan of literature, par excellence. She, more than anybody, taught me that writers are worth our admiration.
The last time I came to visit, my mother let me see the Rolodexes where she keeps her index cards. As I walked into her study I noticed several artifacts from my childhood – a metal Buddha that doubles as an ashtray, a jointed frog puppet that dangles on strings – and I remembered the sense of awe I’ve always felt entering her writer’s room: the atmosphere heavy with important cultural business. I felt the same way when I saw her strong, vigorous handwriting on the little cards, her particular combination of block capitals and underlining, her slanted intensity.
For a long time, my mother wanted to write a novel of her own. During my last year of high school she became intensely interested in the novels of J.M. Coetzee. She identified very deeply with the character of Elizabeth Costello, who she saw as a morally serious and uncompromising woman – not unlike herself. She liked the way Coetzee blended art and politics with his crisp, unadorned language. All told, her interest in Coetzee lasted more than four years, in which she read every one of his novels and took copious notes.
I was in my junior year at college when my mother finished her novel. She asked if I would give her feedback.
The novel arrived at my rental house in a large manila envelope. It was long; more than five hundred manuscript pages. Luckily I had just been fired from my summer job at the campus library for breaking into the depository after hours, so I had time on my hands. I went through her manuscript several times, making notes. In hindsight, I should probably have been more careful, or at least more sober; I was drinking too much at the time. I noticed she had a problem with editorializing – one I share – and that her sentences were sometimes so spare they felt naked, but the truth didn’t occur to me until the second pass. My mother was trying to write a J.M. Coetzee novel. Coetzee is not an easy writer to imitate.
After a week’s work I sent back the edited manuscript. I included a note, saying there were things I liked and things I didn’t, but that overall it reminded me too much of Coetzee. Probably I should have been more supportive, but she’s always been honest about my work, and I wanted to be honest about hers. Two writers in one family: not always the easiest situation.
My mother took my edits with remarkable grace, but they frustrated her. How could she possibly achieve something as good as the novels she idolized without stealing some of their tricks? How was she supposed to know what was her and what was Coetzee? She decided to scrap the novel she had sent me and start again, but failed to get traction on another project. She was often deeply discouraged. She didn’t want to be just a fan of literature; she wanted to be a writer.
Posted in Essays
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A Dark Dreambox of Another Kind
Alfred Starr Hamilton (1914-2000), whose poetry has just been resurrected by The Song Cave in the collection A Dark Dreambox of Another Kind, is an embodiment of a recognizable fringe, the outsider artist.
The outsider, a familiar if not always friendly creature, is often little unhinged; she—I take up the feminine pronoun in honor of our most famous poetic outsider, Emily Dickinson—tends to be fixated to the point of obsession with an artistic pursuit, though she may not define it as such; she is reclusive, and in that seclusion comes to invent a deeply personal syntax and vocabulary that seems out of step with contemporary literary practice. A glass pane is the preferred distance separating her from life, though she will steal out into the night, a shadowy figure on the shadowy grass, to admire the moon, or to lament that she doesn’t live on it. Occasionally, the outsider works her way, almost inevitably through the intermediary of a sympathetic and patient admirer, toward the center, though on the rare occasions this happens, it happens posthumously.
The similarities between Dickinson and Alfred Starr Hamilton may go no deeper than their fascination with bees, but both in their own particular and peculiar way are representative of the outsider type. Dickinson’s story is well known, Hamilton’s unknown. He spent the greater part of his adult years living in a boarding house—appropriately called the Walden House—in Montclair, New Jersey. (“He pays $40 a month for a linoleumed cell in a rooming house,” wrote Jonathan Williams in an impassioned plea to raise money to help Hamilton fight a charge of vagrancy brought against him in 1975.) He produced voluminously, displaying the intense focus common to this type: during the 1960s, Hamilton mailed roughly 45 poems a week to the offices of Cornell University’s literary magazine, Epoch—which, under the editorial hand of David Ray, had published a smattering of his poems—and although a collection of his work was published by the Jargon Society in 1970 and he had a brush with modest renown a decade later, he has remained largely unrecognized.
This is partly because Hamilton confounds. Was he a crackpot? A genius unsullied by the academy? A little bit of both? Is he a symbol of a subterranean America—a more modest, less vociferous version of his contemporary Allen Ginsberg? (In one of the few circulated anecdotes about his personal life, we learn that in 1961 Hamilton was fined $25 for sitting in a park during an air raid drill.) Can we see Hamilton as New Jersey’s answer to Robert Walser?
Posted in Essays, Lost & Found
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What We’re Reading
Devon Walker-Domine (Open Bar Intern): Among my current reads is Adrian Oktenberg’s The Bosnia Elegies, a staggering work that, through the adept merging of journalistic and poetic styles, succeeds in conveying the vastness and complexity of Yugoslavia’s dissolution, both on a national and a personal level. The loss of a loved one, of a voice, of a personal history–these come together to form the collective loss of a moribund nation, and Oktenberg fearlessly and gracefully expresses this by imbedding in the very structure of her lines the patterning of loss and the visual representation of separations as they are coming into existence:
Nobody obeyed the command to kneel
some made a rush some stood stark and straight
a few fell at once living and dead lay mingled together
Here she lays the map of a fractured nation like a transparency over broken communities and the individuals composing those communities. This kind of imagery essentially prohibits readers from maintaining an indifferent perspective, bringing them so close to the genocide that it can no longer remain a distant and vague outline of tragedy.
This is not a read for the faint of heart: its focus is set unwaveringly upon the fragile chain of instances composing human life, particularly as it exists against the backdrop of violent political upheaval. That said, if you can handle the unflinching gaze at humanity in conflict with itself, the reward is great. These are definitely some of the most stunning and intricately woven poems I have read in quite some time.
Lance Cleland (Murder Mystery Dinner Detective): An ordinary man who found himself embroiled in extraordinary circumstances. This is all I want said of my life. As such, I find myself constantly dipping back into the pool of spy novels I loved as a young reader. The first leisurely sunny day spent at the park will always find me with a paperback in hand, chasing German submarines, double-crossing the voluptuous, and trying like hell not to get my drink spiked in an underground Prague bar.
Eric Ambler’s Journey Into Fear never crosses the border into literature in the way a good Greene or le Carré treatment can, but his novel is damn good fun nonetheless. An English civil servant on his way home from Istanbul gets roped into an international arms race. Escaping an attempt on his life, our ordinary hero finds himself isolated at sea with a multinational cast of secondary characters (a seductive nightclub dancer, her seedy, Marxist husband, a mysterious tobacco importer!), who may or may not be on board to kill him. Sprinkled in amidst all the thrills are some genuinely sharp critiques of the British Empire, as well as some humorous asides about female persuasions. But make no mistake, Ambler is here to take you from A to B in as entertaining a manner as possible.
Journey Into Fear is a classic set up, executed perfectly. I hope they say the same thing about me someday.
Michelle Wildgen (Executive Editor, Tin House Magazine): I’m reading Rosie Schaap’s Drinking with Men: A Memoir right now, a memoir about her love of bars, specifically the neighborhood joint where one stops by after work for a glass, maybe to check in with regulars, maybe just to have a drink. She grew up in these places, in a lot of ways, with her gateway to a shall we say “altered” community being her time as a teenage Deadhead. (Her account confirms much of what I assumed to be true during a brief Dead-curious period in my freshman year of college, symbolized by my sporting a rawhide ankle bracelet hung with bells. But that’s not important right now.) There’s something in the way Schaap approaches the subject of drinking that I find oddly bold. That seems counter-intuitive. Americans really like to drink, we know, and I live in Wisconsin, which has elevated it to a religion. Maybe it is just the fact that Schaap is happy to discuss drinking not as an epicurean pursuit, not so much about the libation itself, but the process, the ritual of consuming alcohol, the place and company of that imbibing. As much as many of us love a drink, I do think most of us tend to couch it in other terms, like gastronomy or sports or an addiction narrative. But sometimes, this book reminds you, it’s just a part of community life.
Holly Laycock (Publicity Intern, Tin House Books): I have spent the past two weeks consciously trying to pace my reading of Flann O’Brien’s The Third Policeman to prolong its delicious strangeness. The surreal world O’Brien creates follows a nameless man who commits a murder for money, and then slips into a dreamlike existence where police barracks change shape, policemen turn sound into energy, and bicycles violate their riders, all to little fanfare. He is also accompanied by another character named Joe, who to the best of my interpretations is his soul, and who often provides some comic relief on this bizarre journey. To tell what kind of journey this is would spoil the outcome of the book, so I will simply say that you should read it when you’re really ready to hunker down. No text has gotten me so far outside of myself, and so far enmeshed in its wobbly parameters for quite some time, and I’m only sorry that it’s not longer.
Posted in Desiderata
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Flood
Weather grows from underground. Great storms explode, often from just below he soil, where they lie, begging to be let loose by a spade. When lightning strikes it’s like visiting a birthplace, digging to that brown pile of soil from which it sprung, to hide and be bright down there, amid the clouds below the soil. Sunburnt grandmothers knew this, and hated when their headstrong husbands went out to tend the gardens, unafraid of what weather they might unearth.
When I wasn’t even a decade old, my own father drowned planting the tulip bulbs that would forever brighten the boarder of the walkway that my mother would shuffle along to reach the mailbox each morning. He unwittingly hit upon a hurricane and was suffocated by the flood of water that came up out of the soil. My mother never recovered. She sat by these untended walkways for the rest of her life. She moved to keep herself constantly out of the shade, and kept her neck straight against the sun. She rested there, being slowly baked and watched the tide of the untended yard. I’m not sure if that’s a suicide.
*
The force of Mary’s body pressed itself against me in a way that no one else’s ever had. I remember the first time we slept an entire night together. Not much about us, really, just that the sky that night was clear, and had been throughout the beautiful and unavoidably wet southern day.
It would be fun to tell a sex story, but the thing I most remember is how comfortable Mary and I were sweating next to one another and not talking, wanting to, but because of the heat, trying not to touch. We just slept silently as our sweat soaked through the bed, so that when we woke up, sticky and surrounded by a lake of dampness, each of us was un-self-consciously disgusted by the other.
*
In 1937 the worst series of tornados in Indiana’s recorded history left the state decimated. Small town post offices were thrown apart, doors found blocks away, and signage asunder. Farms were ruined, their crops beaten away by wind and gifted to the next town like airdropped rations. All the residents of a downtown hotel awoke without walls. It was a farmer’s fault. He dug too far while planting his field, hit a storm system, and when he awoke, covered the bodies of his two drowned sons with a sheet and stood looking down, into the upwardly pounding rain.
*
The wife of the farmer sat on her porch alone and thought of how barren memory could become. At a certain point all that you’ve done touches lips with all that you remember. At that point she realized that memory is a far, far better carry-on bag than reality will ever be. She looked out over her husband’s fields and didn’t think about them at all. She died, realizing that the sun was flooding her face and all of her uncovered skin.
*
Mary’s surface fascinated me, and I would examine it. It happened, every so often, that she would be asleep first and I would be able to look at her ribcage slowly move. I don’t think I ever understood the meaning of the word ‘blossom’ before I saw her ribcage while she was sleeping. That protective structure of bone and cartilage opened and closed above her lungs with each breath. She was her most vulnerable then. She breathed the way you watch clouds plow slowly over ill-shorn grass, up hills, and onwards towards you. I was waiting for rain. A great storm. But there was nothing titanic there: there was no thunder, or dark clouds, but simply silence: in our life there was just the unbroken space between two people in a weatherless living room.
*
Later, Ohio had a period of cloudlessly beautiful weather. Three months of clear and perfect pond-swimming days. Children with their pants rolled above their scabbed knees ran down dusty roads to leap from moss covered stones into rivers and lakes full of all the youthful reflections of so few clouds. All of the crops starved that summer, and Ohio needed federal rations.
Posted in Flash Fridays
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How To Bury Our Dead
An excerpt from Amber Dawn’s new book, How Poetry Saved My Life: A Hustler’s Memoir, which came out on Tuesday.
How To Bury Our Dead
for Shelby Tom
Have you ever had to attend a Catholic or Sikh or Japanese or Irish funeral and felt a little uncertain about the cultural grieving practices? We can all thank cyberspace for easy-to-find funeral etiquette. Simply visit Wikipedia before you do something tactless, like sending flowers to a Jewish funeral service.
Now try doing a search for “queer funeral etiquette”; Wikipedia will tell you that “The page ‘Queer funeral etiquette’ does not exist.” Now try Googling it. When I first tried this, the closest result was a website that explained tipping etiquette for gay men vacationing in Mexico. There are now a few online discussions.
It only got worse when I swapped labels and mixed up words. The first result on a search for “gay memorial service” brought me to an article about a Navy veteran’s funeral that was cancelled when his church congregation learned that he was gay. If you search for this story, you will discover that this happened in 2007.
Everyone dies; we can agree on that. And although we probably don’t really like to, we can also agree that the mortality rate for queers is higher than for heterosexuals. Doesn’t it seem a little off that we—with our rich array of community rituals and traditions—don’t have customs for mourning? Exactly how do we bury our dead?
I am not an expert. All of my grieving has been done in rather bitter privacy. I can only share with you my own stories of bereavement in the hope that they help spark conversation, and that conversation brings change. I believe this is the way we queer folks do things.
I’ll start with what I know: My family is made up of mostly hard-working farmers, churchgoers, and people who strongly believe in heaven. I was seven years old when I attended my first funeral. My great-uncle Dave lived with his wife Dottie on a corn and chicken farm until he died of a heart attack before the age of fifty. My ma made a bed for me in the back seat of our Volkswagen Rabbit and drove without stopping from Fort Erie, Ontario, to Auburn, New York. Her good black dress hung in the back passenger-side window, a funeral-garb curtain that blocked the sun as I dozed away the five-hour drive.
When we arrived, Dave and Dottie’s frame house was still as huge and white as ever. The corn still stood in dutiful rows. Willow trees sprawled across the front lawn, still waiting for grandkids and cousins to climb them. Dottie’s mean-tempered geese chased me up the driveway, hissing, like they always had done.
Ma led me to the back door—because family never came through the front—and into the mudroom where Uncle Dave’s flannel shirts crowded the coat tree. I watched her gulp back a grief-stricken sob as she searched for an empty hook for my red wool poncho. While being raised by a single mom, I had seen plenty of tears. Ma wasn’t one to hide her most recent dating disaster or debt struggles, but this was different. This sounded as if something had been dislodged from deep within her body. Her crying fired up loudly and continued, almost mechanically, as we were received by a half-dozen or so aunties and passed around the kitchen from one set of open arms to the next.
What I learned about funerals that day: You get to keep your (Sunday) shoes on inside the house. Cake and pie arrive in landslides. No one jabbers when the priest stays to drink with the family. Well-recited stories are told about when the departed either comically injured or humiliated themselves or both. You cry whenever the crying comes. Maybe it’s when your second cousin, Holly, hugs you so tight and uncomfortably long that you feel her faux-pearl necklace denting your forehead. Maybe it’s when you’re in the living room, where the open casket lies for three days, forcing yourself to look at the pale and gentle flesh of your uncle’s closed eyelids. When you cry, it’s uncensored. And you’re not alone.
It’s likely that we all have a story something like this: a memory of bagpipes or a parade of black suits or of kneeling for so long that your feet fall asleep. I wonder if our memories could be the key to shaping queer funerals? Conquering and compiling the fine details—the unearthly quiet of a receiving room or how particularly buttery the sweets tasted. Or, in my case, how much the tattooist’s gun burned on my back.
I mourned my first queer death in a tattoo shop. There’s a scarlet-haired, rock-n-roll vixen on my back. She peeks out of my shirt collar and runs, right beside my spine, down toward my hips. I clenched my fists (and my jaw and my butt cheeks) for nearly eight hours before the tattooist was finished.
She attracts a lot of attention, my tattoo. Especially from biker types who don’t have any qualms about touching a perfect stranger’s back. “Nice ink,” they say. Some have even gone as far as to slide my tank top to the side to get a better look. So when they ask, “What made you get that?” I feel a certain vindication when I tell them, “It’s a memorial tattoo for a lover. She was nineteen when she died.”
The conversation usually ends there.
Amber Dawn is a writer, filmmaker, and performance artist. She is the author of Lambda Award-winning novel Sub Rosa and multiple short films including the docuporn, Girl on Girl. She has toured three times with the Sex Workers’ Art Show and is the former Director of Programming for the Vancouver Queer Film Festival (VQFF). Amber Dawn was 2012 winner of the Writers’ Trust of Canada Dayne Ogilvie Prize for LGBT writers and the 2012 Eli Coppola Memorial Chapbook Prize from RADAR Productions.
Posted in Essays
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Thoughts On A Sentence By Robert Walser
“He magicked flowers onto paper, so that upon it they quivered, rejoiced, and smiled, swaying in their plantlike ways; his concern was the flesh of flowers, the spirit of the secret which dwells in the resistance a thing with special properties offers to understanding. “ — “Thoughts on Cezanne” by Robert Walser (translated into English by Christopher Middleton)
Would it not be more appropriate for me to say the sentence is more Christopher Middleton’s and less Robert Walser’s? I mean, Robert Walser did NOT write the English words that comprise the sentence, and yet he most certainly wrote the sentence. Or: in 1929 Robert Walser, living voluntarily in the Waldau Sanitorium in Switzerland, wrote not the sentence above but a different sentence in an antiquated form of German shorthand on a scrap of paper, and 20 years later (or so), German scholar Jochen Greven transcribed this shorthand version into a legible German one that the poet Christopher Middleton translated into English, which later appeared in an English-language edition of Robert Walser’s Selected Stories, published by FSG in 1982, of which a single copy (a first-edition hardcover) sold to some sucker who eventually sold it back to Powell’s made its strange way into my hands in the year of 2006—77 some years after Walser wrote the original sentence. Towel snap!
I’m drawn to the dazzling action verb “magicked,” which means, in its intransitive form, “to produce, remove, or influence through the use of magic.” Walser’s / Greven’s / Middleton’s choice here seems fresh in the way it shifts away from its ordinary usage as adjective to its stranger, more ethereal usage as action verb. Magicked. It immediately draws my attention to the sentence as beautifully essential artifice without at all removing me from the sentence’s surface. In fact the verb “magicked” pushes me deeper into the sentence’s mysterious, seemingly impossible action of making something out of nothing, of putting flowers ONTO paper, and in the next part of that sentence (its second base clause), those flowers begin to take on sentient life. The flowers “quiver,” “rejoice,” “smile,” and “sway.” Walser here describes not Cezanne painting flowers but the impression Cezanne’s painted flowers leave on Walser, the way Walser sees the flowers on actual paper and on the paper of his mind. Thinking is not restful. Not only do the flowers quiver and sway—as flowers are wont to do—they “smile” and “rejoice.” The flowers express and celebrate their feelings of joy. The flowers are not really flowers nor are they merely a representation of flowers on paper or canvas (which comes from a once living thing we call Tree)—they are sentient, human, capable of feeling and expression.
Walser infuses everything he sees with his own profound soulfulness. Within the movement of the sentence—the movement from subject (“they”) to predicate (that extended list of verbs)—objects come to life. Magick. In the essay “Talking Forks,” Charles Baxter describes this kind of detailing as “endowing objects with inner life”—very much a Notable Quality of Walser’s prose style. His vision here not only speaks to his immense capacity for wonder but to his desire to come out of self-imposed isolation, and to his loneliness that engenders that wonder and then gives way to his reaching out into the world. When things get scary inside, son, and they do, time to head into the outdoors, time to breathe in the deep space of Other. Everything moves, including the eye, which makes it possible to see more closely, to see every side, to see the underside of things, the play of light and shade over the surface’s varied textures, fast song, fast song, slow song, fast song, numinous qualities both analogous and contradictory. Cezanne’s flowers quiver AND rejoice. The act of quivering strikes me not as celebratory but anxious, painful even, one step removed from seizure or much-needed rest. When the sentence expresses irreconcilable contradiction, it looks out into human mystery.
Now we arrive at that semi-colon (half-time!); I could write an entire page on Walser’s use of the semi-colon but will restrain myself. It’s sufficient to say this: the semi-colon signals that “COMPLETE THOUGHTS”( i.e., independent clauses that can STAND ALONE) reside on both sides. Enough said.
After the semi-colon, the sentence shifts modes slightly from description-narrative to lyrical-critical-essay (“His concern was the flesh of flowers”), then to a meditative, even philosophical stance. Walser’s sentences are always in flux, shifting prose modes, tones, registers, changing clothes and wigs, switching out guitars, reaching towards stillness, then noise, the stillness of noise and the noise of stillness. We are seeing the human mind moving from the world external back into the self then back out. The self is both the thing seen and the lens through which it sees. Another way to describe “the flesh of flowers” is “the spirit of the secret which dwells in the resistance a thing with special properties offers to understanding.”
Guess what?
You’ve just been Walsered.
Posted in The Art of the Sentence
Comments: 1
Sonic Bouquets
A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending Joanna Klink’s inaugural reading as the Tin House Writer-in-Residence. Before a packed congregation (the event was held in a church), Joanna delivered a perfect sermon, one that seemingly pulled the crowd closer to her with each line read. The poems she elected to share seemed to mirror the night’s unfolding weather. Airy and playful at first, then tinged with melancholy as the sun set. There was something holistic about the entire affair, one that I still can’t quite put my finger on.
Adding to the evening’s enchantment was the introduction given by one of Joanna’s graduate students, Missy Ward. Rather than list biography and accomplishments, Missy spoke of sonic registers and infinite arrangements. Time and care had obviously been given to her thoughts, and I ended up thinking about her words as much as I did Joanna’s (no small feat).
As such, I am happy to share Missy’s introduction below.- Lance Cleland
Every Tuesday afternoon, Joanna arrives at PSU to lead a graduate writing workshop.
Each week she is as eager and curious and engaged as any devoted artist for whom sharing is an expression of living.
Her syllabus this spring features, among five or six equally remarkable quotations, one from the writer and translator Jane Hirschfield. It says: “Here, as elsewhere in life, attentiveness only deepens what it regards.”
But of course it does, doesn’t it?
And of course we need reminder of it.
We need to feel that attention is itself an art and one that, moment by moment, deepens both the writer and the reader via practice.
Art is, after all, a verb as Yoko Ono says and not a noun. 
Before I had the chance to learn from Joanna in person I had her three books to pore over and those are most recently Raptus as well as Circadian and They Are Sleeping.
Each of them, you’ll find, features an undeniable attention to sound and an appreciation for what James Longenbach calls “the poet’s materials.”
Our English language is the very “stuff” of poems but is, terrifically, a patchwork of German and Latin and French influence come down through the ages.
The many sonic registers available for use thus allow for sentences like this one from Joanna’s “Winter Field.”
What better witness than this evening snow,
its steady blind quiet, its eventual
completeness, a talc smoothing every surface
through the lumen tricks of ice.
In it you can hear her love of music and arrangement because you hear the conjuring undulates of “better, evening, steady and smoothing” give way to the three little thumps at the end – the “tricks of ice.”
Here we have a trick more subtle than deceptive, one that’s “played” with happy surprise.
It makes me think that material is, for the sonically attentive among us, a play-thing encouraging its own infinite arrangement.
Joanna’s gift for gathering together sonic bouquets is as characteristic as her insistence upon new hyphenated compounds for the English language.
I read her work and think of the urgent “couple-color” in Hopkins’ “Pied Beauty.” I think of the grieving “spectre-thin” in Keats’ “Ode to a Nightingale.”
I wonder, too, whether her fascination with the German-language poet Paul Celan has influenced her taste for union.
I know that German, which is notorious for its long words, allows for hyphenation as a means of clarification.
However, I discovered that German grammar also employs the hyphen during combinatorial invention or “coining of phrases.”
Our own English language contains existing neologisms like cyberspace, Astroturf, Xray Frisbee.
To these Joanna has added: gray-bodied, fog-locked, calendar-sprung and my very favorite far-nessess.
When I encounter art that requires, “as elsewhere in life,” great attention, I sense the original effort of feeling first required of its maker.
But please don’t let me reduce attention to mere seriousness or difficulty.
The attentive approach is, on the contrary, an agreement that allows the subject of one’s attention to expand and reorient the senses and make the attendant new.
It is a generous Whitmanesque multiself whose work is always ever an invitation for its recipient to do the same – to encounter and play and grow and draw vitality from the practice.
Thank you again for being here and please help me welcome Joanna Klink.
Missy Ward is a graduate writing student in the MFA at PSU.
Posted in Free Verse, General
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Even Her Feet Were Ravishing
It takes a special kind of person for whom you can toss together in the same sentence the words “gambol,” “Les Folies Bergères” and “poor girl from Saint Louis who at nineteen charmed and otherwise seriously seduced the art and theater scene in 1920s Paris with her seductive combination of beauty, sensuality, whimsy and physical agility all wrapped up in a little skirt strung together with sixteen satin bananas.” This is the kind of woman who puts new meaning in morning coffee when she says of her lover, “He was my cream, and I was his coffee and when you poured us together, it was something.” This is the same woman who fought with the French Resistance and tucked away messages written with invisible ink amidst her sheet music and lingerie. At once gazelle and Amazon, sophisticated and savage and sultry, Josephine Baker knew how to play up the fascination with exotica and the deep love of erotica so vital to Paris in the Roaring Twenties. About her performances, she declared, “I wasn’t really naked. I simply didn’t have any clothes on.” Her affectionate—for the period—nicknames included Black Venus and La Bakaire; and Picasso, who painted her portrait, christened her “the Nefertiti of Now.”
Writers were particularly smitten by her; Colette deemed her “a most beautiful panther” (and given the fact that Baker was both chic and wild and often accompanied by her pet leopard Chiquita, the sobriquet suits her well). Langston Hughes collected her pictures, postcards and newspaper clippings. Playwright Anita Loos noted Baker’s “witty rear end.” Italian playwright Luigi Pirandello, Jean Cocteau and F. Scott Fitzgerald were ardent admirers. For e.e. cummings, Baker was “a creature neither infrahuman nor superhuman but somehow both.” Hemingway said that she was “the most sensational woman anyone ever saw, or ever will,” and the New Yorker’s Janet Flanner wrote, in the 1930s, about Baker’s “magnificent dark body” in her stage debut and the resounding “scream of salutation [that] spread through the theater” after her danse sauvage with partner Joe Alex.
Baker also dipped into the literary world when her 1930s novel about interracial love, Mon sang dans tes veines, My Blood In Your Veins, was published (written with two collaborators). Opening a swanky nightclub in Paris called Chez Joséphine, she directed and published a house magazine that included poetry, fashion and art work.
She did not go unnoticed by the inimitable couple Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, and makes a cameo appearance in the “Treasures” chapter of The Alice B. Toklas Cookbook. The rich recipe for Custard Josephine Baker calls for sugar, a little flour and milk, kirsch, lemon zest, bananas and the mysterious liqueur Raspail, “for which it will probably be necessary to substitute another,” Toklas advises, letting the reader dream up what might best sweeten the dancer’s eponymous dessert. (I had the custard once at a late night Left Bank dinner party and whatever secret liqueur was added made for a smooth, delicate flavor.)
This brief column can only give a taste of Baker’s fabulous talent, wild popularity and clever sense of humor when she duly notes, “I like Frenchmen very much because even when they insult you they do it so nicely.” She has left her beautiful, indelible mark on Paris: visit la place Josephine Baker near Montparnasse or swim in the vast piscine named in her honor on the Right Bank. And, next month on May 20th, wherever you may be, you can celebrate “Josephine Baker Day” (created by the NAACP in 1951)—whether in high style or with low profile, with bubbly or bananas or both, raise a glass, a peeled fruit, or very high heel in her honor.
Heather Hartley is Paris editor at Tin House. She’s the author of Knock Knock, released by Carnegie Mellon University Press. Her poems have appeared in Post Road, Drunken Boat, Forklift Ohio, Mississippi Review and elsewhere. She’s a Co-Director of the Shakespeare and Company Bookshop literary festival and lives in Paris.
Posted in General
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Desiderata
Emma Komlos-Hrobsky (Assistant Editor, Tin House Magazine): Since finishing Dana Spiotta’s Stone Arabia a few weeks ago, I’ve had a hard time finding fiction to dig into; everything I’ve started has felt a little precious by comparison. (I cannot say loudly enough: you must read this book.) Instead, I’ve been getting my fix by weaving in and out of Always Apprentices, The Believer’s fantastic anthology of conversations between writers. The pairings for the conversations, and often the settings where they take place, are like something from a dream: Bret Easton Ellis and Don DeLillo catch up in a Louis XIII room in Paris! Wells Tower rides shotgun in Barry Hannah’s Jeep, and they skulk around together beneath the windows of Faulkner’s old house! What’s really moving here, though, is the way these writers talk about each other’s work and about the craft they both love. Even when the two are meeting for the first time, there’s intimacy in the way they speak that seems to come from a sense of being members of the same club.
And another set of conversations that have been inspiring me this month: the collaborative art being made over at Ten Paces and Draw. [http://www.tenpacesanddraw.
Desiree Andrews (Assistant Editor, Tin House Magazine): My bother sent me a text the other day saying I had to watch The American Astronaut on Netflix. He called the black and white space musical “messed up and awesome.” Of course I streamed it right away. I should start off by saying that this movie doesn’t seem to be meant for women. Being a woman, myself, I found this a little hard to get over. There are very few female characters. The ones that do exist are either only defined by their sexual appetites or are actual objects (a “Real Live Girl” grown from a box, who is also solely defined by her potential sexuality). The main female character is known as “the girl with the glass vagina.” Maybe there’s a comment on gender politics that I’m missing but this film gave off a pretty “for boys only” vibe for my taste.
Putting the hyper masculinity aside, there are at least two scenes that make the whole movie worth watching. The first is a dance scene in a public men’s room where two men sing to torment the hero, trapped in a toilet stall. The second: a stark image of a mad scientist walking among the bodies he’s just killed. The bodies have all turned to piles of ash. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I realize that every scene has something pretty spectacular or utterly weird to offer. Although I’m not sure how this film hung together as a whole, it was definitely a better use of my time than watching all 26 episodes of The Killing.
Heather Hartley (Paris Editor): Brilliant guitarist Django Reinhardt, whose first name literally means ”I awake” in Romani, grew up in the Romani camps near Paris in the 1920s and received his first banjo-guitar when he was twelve. Luckily for jazz lovers and music aficionados, Reinhardt was hooked. He explains, “Jazz attracted me because in it I found a formal perfection and instrumental precision . . .” In the 1930s in Paris, he played regularly at le Hot Club de France with his Quintet that included fantastic violinist Stéphane Grappelli. They continuously enchanted audiences with tunes like their 1930s zippy version of “Tiger Rag” or their swingy 1937 “The Sheik of Araby.” Perfect music for sitting out on the porch or terrace with a little glass of cloudy Pernod or an iced lemonade.
Jakob Vala (Graphic Designer): I’ve been listening to Milk Music’s debut LP, Cruise Your Illusion, ever since my brother passed it to me last month. Our childhood friends Joe Rutter (drums) and his younger brother Alex Coxen (guitar and vocals) make up one half of the quartet. I’m clearly biased, but about halfway through the first song, I forget I’m listening to former Trick-or-Treating allies and enjoy the album for what it is—a skillfully crafted piece of rock.
Growing up in a small town in the Pacific Northwest does something to a musician; it breeds a sort of nostalgic punk aesthetic and lends a grimy lilt to the tightest of melodies. It encourages a mixing of genres. The members of Milk Music are scholars of music. They know their influences and they honor them with a sincere lack of irony. Drawing on its punk predecessors, the Olympia music scene (past and present), and of course, Neil Young, Cruise Your Illusion is a solid album that warrants multiple listens.
And here’s a link to their site: http://www.milkmusic.us
Michelle Wildgen (Executive Editor, Tin House Magazine): I have not been the most fascinating consumer of culture this month, but I can tell you this: Rachel Kushner’s The Flamethrowers is so far so authoritative, unexpected, and compelling—my favorite in my early reading of it is a scene in which the narrator happens upon a couple in a bar and just stays with them throughout the evening as it expands and moves from one place and crew of people to another, and it captures so perfectly the way these nights can occur when you are at a certain age, a certain unfetteredness, naivete and openness, and maybe a certain sheer foolishness and bravery too.
I feel as if a lot of people were recently talking about the BBC series Call the Midwife, and I have not yet watched it but have been reading the book, choosing for some reason to do so when I cannot sleep in the middle of the night. Sometimes it soothes and sometimes it doesn’t, but what it demonstrates, again and again, is this unalloyed truth: inventing birth control is probably the single best thing the human race has ever done. When I read an account of these women in 1950s East End London held hostage to baby after baby and think of the Republicans trying to actually take it away, it makes me want to tear someone’s face off. See, now I won’t sleep tonight, either.
Posted in Desiderata
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UNCANNY FUTURE TALES PRESENTS

Salt wind had peeled the green, blue, and yellow paint from the Ferris wheel gondola that swept Joel and his family up into the night, sweetly launched them toward the evening star. This detail, the sea-battered paint, will return to him decades later. That night, though, they all curved heedless through the indigo balm of August oceanside air and stopped, gently rocking high above the clacking roller-coaster and gleeful screams and taffy-sweet carnival atmosphere, cradle rocking with the whole wide Atlantic darkly moonlit and undulant before them, and Joel thought, This is just like the mantis movie, this is where the unsuspecting people sat when she rose up, up, up out of the ocean, a hundred feet and more of star-glimmering carapace and mandible.
He shivered in the settling gondola, held aloft by the benevolent ride operator–or the merely forgetful operator, or the operator distracted by a girl in short shorts and halter top—Joel shivering as delicious dread played every key along his spine. Pray! Said The Mantis, discovered early one Saturday morning on television and watched in purest awe, the awe a different age reserved for burning bushes and fiery wheels in the sky, watched as his abandoned Quisp turned to mush in the plastic bowl. In that moment of sublime, submarine revelation it became his favorite movie, and would ever remain in his top five even as more sophisticated fare replaced simpler, as if it knew what was coming.
He sat beside his father, across from his mother and sisters, right where the big scene in the movie happened, right there at the Myrtle Beach Pavilion, destined for its own sad fate in the future, reduced and razed and transformed into the parking lot of urban renewal cliché. He scanned the dark swells with a hero’s steel-eyed gaze and his heartbeat went hummingbird fast because at any moment, anywhere out there—well, you never knew.
You never knew what was beneath the black waves and murky green water. No one else in the gondola appreciated the awful, wonderful danger of their situation. When the mantis strides out of the ocean, the Ferris wheel becomes a rotisserie of helpless, screaming wieners, a rotating buffet—his unique contribution to the critical literature about this film, a comment he will write in his early forties on the Radiation Cinema! blog. He spared a glance for his clueless family. His parents stared at opposite corners of the gondola, at dirty candy wrappers and discarded, trampled popcorn buckets, tiny jaw muscles throbbing. His older sister slumped against the laughably unsafe safety bar, gazing at the crowd where it swirled below, its own kind of human taffy, and thought her angrily opaque teenage thoughts, while his younger sang Row Your Boat for the hundredth time, or at least the sixth or seventh.
Posted in Flash Fridays
Comments: 4
Dear Lucy
Julie Sarkissian and I attended The New School’s MFA program at the same time, and although we shared a few literature seminars (and many more hours drinking at Café Loup on West 13th Street), we were never in a workshop together. Julie was always extremely private about her work, so I had only the vaguest idea of what this book she was writing was actually about. Six years later, the galley arrived in my mailbox and I finally got a chance to see what she’d been up to all these years. Needless to say—and this is a serious understatement—I wasn’t disappointed.
Dear Lucy, Julie’s debut novel, is the story of a girl who understands the world strictly through her senses and her emotional instincts, a girl for whom language is a slippery, treacherous thing and modern society a set of baffling and restrictive codes. We might call her “learning disabled,” but within the fable-like context of the novel, “touched” seems the more likely term. Lucy’s been placed on the Farm under the care of an elderly couple while her overwhelmed mother carries on with her life in the City. Lucy gathers eggs and helps tend to the farm alongside another of the couple’s charges, a pregnant teenager named Samantha. Through rotating sections told from the point of view of Lucy, Samantha, and Missus (the Farm’s stern and dissembling matriarch), the novel explores the subject of motherhood—what it means to be a mother, both within the constructs of society and in the most primal and elemental sense. It’s an utterly unique and affecting novel, and hopefully the first of many to come.
I had the chance to ask Julie some questions about the book over email in early April.
Brian DeLeeuw: Tell me a little bit about the genesis of this book. How did you arrive at the character of Lucy, a girl whose intellect is lacking, but whose spirit, heart, and sense of empathy are as developed as anyone’s?
Julie Sarkissian: Lucy came to me as a voice, narrating her gathering of the eggs. I wrote some pages in her voice, falling in love with her as I did, then I worked backwards to figure out who she must be, based on the clues she gave me. Lucy’s voice was truly the genesis of the whole project, and the one element of the book that remained constant throughout the creation of the novel. It was the inspiration and the stalwart of the novel, though I can’t rightly say where her voice came from. It was more like Lucy chose me, rather than I chose her.
In regards to her empathy, I think that Lucy is an especially empathetic person not despite her limitations, but because of them. I think of emotional intelligence as a more primal human quality than pure IQ intelligence. And Lucy has that primal humanity about her, though intellectually she is limited. Intellect can get in the way of empathy. We analyze a person’s goodness and then decide if they are deserving of our compassion. But Lucy doesn’t have the analytic skills to judge someone as good or bad, and therefore her channels of compassion are open and free.
BD: And yet that gap between emotional and intellectual intelligence leads Lucy into situation after situation in which the reader’s understanding of what is about to happen is so radically different from Lucy’s. She’s always trying to do the good thing, the right thing, but you can see each disaster coming around the corner… How difficult was it to maintain a central narrator with such a particular and limited intellectual understanding throughout the novel? Did you have to constantly remind yourself of the difference between how Lucy would read the world and how you yourself would read it?
JS: The tension between Lucy’s interpretation of situations and the reader’s interpretation felt accessible, and was an organic part of writing the book, so I didn’t have to remind myself that there was a disparity between Lucy’s perception and the reader’s. But I did have to constantly find ways compensate for that disparity in terms of plot. It was often very hard to figure out ways to get necessary information to the reader from Lucy’s point of view. So that aspect of having a learning disabled narrator was often difficult. Of course there were other narrators upon whom I relied heavily to get across a lot of “straightforward” facts (though it is debatable if any of the characters are straightforward about anything, except Lucy herself). But that said, I didn’t want it to seem as if the other characters were included only to prop up Lucy and make up for what she lacked. So the challenge to bring the other characters alive in their own right—and not just as bolsters for Lucy’s limited perspective—was a by-product of Lucy being a limited protagonist.
BD: You already talked about Lucy’s empathy. For me, one of the most remarkable things about the novel is the empathy you yourself extend to its most repellent character, Missus. Was the decision to give Missus her own sections of the book, in which she attempts to explain herself (if never actually apologizing for her actions), one of the earlier decisions in conceiving the novel, or was it something you came to only later, after you’d already written Lucy and Samantha as narrators? What was the experience of writing from the perspective of—in other words, of empathizing with—such a jealous, heartless woman?
JS: Missus was actually the second character to have a voice, after Lucy, of course. She introduced herself to me by talking about Stella [her daughter] being missing from her and Mister’s lives. I created Missus not conscious of what her moral character would become—and certainly not conscious of all the things that transpired around Stella’s disappearance—but for practical purposes. Because Samantha was already on the page from Lucy’s point of view, I felt that a woman who wanted a baby, and needed help on a farm, would be the glue that would bring Lucy and Samantha together.
But despite the fact that I didn’t initially know the depths of her depravity, from the onset Missus was filled with unrest. She always felt like something was missing from her life. So I had sympathy for her simply because she was suffering, and I don’t think my sympathy for her ever dried up, even when she proved to be, as you say, heartless. But unlike a total sociopath, Missus is not unemotional. She is not self-satisfied. Some part of her does know that something is wrong with her, although she projects that sense of being broken onto her physical body. She wants to be different. I do believe she believes that she wants to love a child. But she is incapable of love, and that is pitiful.
What kept me from feeling like Missus was too immoral and repulsive to be compelling was the glimpse of humanity suggested by the fact that she is pleading her case to the reader. Unlike, for example, a character on trial for a crime, facing execution or prison, there are no tangible stakes for Missus. And yet, she is still trying to convince the reader, and herself, that her actions were justified. She must—in some tiny way, on some tiny level—be looking for exoneration, because if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t be explaining her actions. And she wouldn’t be looking for exoneration if she didn’t feel that she had done anything wrong.
Posted in Interviews
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